The Silence In the Blasts

I want to ask a question from anyone that would answer it…

do we really wake up? every morning in the morning and we brush our teeth, shave, shower, n leave for the ever lasting office…

do we really wake up? i mean I close my eyes and I m back at the square one, again brushing…shaving, showering, leaving….

yesterday 20 of my brothers died…in Hyderabad…these news dont affect me anymore.

I have become used to it…I think all of us have become used to it…n we leave it..just like that…

…until….until…someone from within us dies in the same way….I think its time for us to wake up before…this happens to everyone of us…

Lets not sleep…lets wake up…lets make some noise…so each and everyone of us wake up…from this prolonged slumber…that we are in…

No fair prince/princess/king/queen  is coming to wake us up…WE HAVE TO…wake up ourselves….

Lets break the silence…

-peace

These afore months have disentangled me

from my burden of reality

I cant pretend and portray

my incompleteness

The words and expressions just

fall short; of being

the real reality

I cant say much of my

health in this virtual reality

the world can go but vanish upon

the truthfulness of my reality

I disembark on journeys
I know nothing about

& I leave the things i know

disillusioned, forgotten…left behind

does it matter…if i die..?

Murder She Wrote…

The eyes look back at me
through the mirror of my mind,

Heart broken but open still
left by her presence
in the furrows of my mind,

I cannot forgive, me;  myself
being what I am,
This is the respect I created
in front of my own eyes,

I can’t bear the thought;
being with another
of my kind

This rekindled love affair;
was not what I had
in my mind…

This too, with a solitude;
which is often linked with people
of my kind…

I just can’t be happy…
why dont you kill me?
another question from the people
of my kind…

Murder she wrote, in the hands
of my destiny,
that will always be in the future
of my kind…

Friday Prayers- the last for some

This was the news I recieved:

 “… the militants, targeted a mosque inside an officers’ residential colony in Parade Lane, Rawalpindi Saddar, during Friday prayers in which Col. Kaleem Zuberi’s father Muhammed Ahmed Zuberi and his son Abdullah Zuberi have achieved martyrdom. Both were residing in the mosque when explosions took place.

 Other martyors include 17 children, 10 civilians and 9 army personnel.

 It was indeed very very sad news, the deceased M.A. Zuberi was my grandfather’s cousin, & was close to the family…

We realize, what goes through the families of the numbers of people we see as a list almost everyday….in a bomb blast.

What happens when a family member or a loved one is lost in vain, due to some vandalistic procuring, suicidal bombing or targeted killing of people as was this brutal attack on our family & others.

It’s not just sad but heart breaking to think of some one to lose his father, or his son that too the eldest. But to lose both in a single day & that too in this catalasmic fashion is pure torture.

We are all grievious….words cannot express our distress. For words are just words, what we feel is beyond all that….

We are at war, it’s time we all realized it. Lets Pray for this family, our own families & our neighbours and people we dont even know.

Lets pray that their lives dont go away in vain.

Lets try & make them feel that we are there, for them.

Lets pray that this grief becomes a little softer.

Lets just pray….

peace

-fahad zuberi

In These Days of Sacrifice…

How Does it feel;
to have the world tumble about you,

To have the plans pulled right;
in front of you,

Skin peeled like oranges
and cut to minsed meat
jolly ol’ jellos
your life…

Your flesh & brains;
another ‘s food & drink,

This is how the world treats us;
in the hallowed pretense of equality,

Suddenly feel naked;
with the clothes I wear,

lost in the days of sorrow,
of sacrifice
will I live; I fear,

The smile departed me, in the end; 
from my residual strength,
that those eyes & voice played;

This all is happening
in these wretched days;
these wretched days
of sacrifice…

 

-fzuberi

10 Days of Sacrifice

Its in these 10 days
In these dismal hours
of sacrifice

I discovered the existence of the non-existence
of the loneliness of solitude

Of the patterns of sleeplessness;
my path does falter,
on the course beyond the horizon

But eyes remain stone
looking back; the same,
as though the back of my hand

Hours of fervacous gratitude
turned to silence;
& its amazing amplitude

Words dont matter anymore
since the source is dead…

Inspiration belongs to one
& to the one’s aptitude…

So here’s to the 10 days…
which dont seem to matter;
in the eyes of the beholder…

A Nice Farewell…

This is what I get?
From mundane words to depressing sighs

The sound of laughter from her high height
lips smiling from my misery

The smile laughs at me
blinking tears from my sheer stupidity

Those words full of emptiness
could relieve me…
like this?

Maybe the reminder of the looming disater near
pray tell me, what can be greater?

A disaster from sheer feeling
of excited happiness;
foreboding of a horredous impending
sacrifice,

Reason evades silence of a long awaited
tenderness;
transformed into dry thirstiness…

Death is relief; of every wrong
cause then everything I had
is gone…

-peace

What is it that hurts us?

What is it that hurts us ?

I don’t know…what makes us feel lonely…what makes us feel empty?

What makes us feel broken inside? What makes us cry out?

What makes us feel like dying? Or as if something has died inside us ?

I think that is what makes us feel hurt…

Sometimes it’s the things you remember of someone you really cared about, sometimes just the thought of what he/she was like to you…

What hurts us most is when we are left to feel (intentionally or un-intentionally) that it doesn’t matter what we feel to the other person…that’s when the tears really come…
But deep  down inside we know that is not the truth…but it’s our heart that refuses to accept that fact…

There is a theory that if you spray tears on what you feel hurt, makes you feel lighter…I don’t know how that is true…because in my experience…it just makes us avoid the same topic in the future…as if it’s there in the freezer to be kept cold…but just waiting to be taken out…waiting to be put in the oven…

Or as they say talk to someone and share your feelings…you’ll feel better…a hoax theory again…because the minute you tell this to someone…they use it against you…the second they get a chance…    

Or maybe when you lie down on the bed late at night and realize that…you’re suddenly very alone…or maybe you always were but you failed to realize it…

But mostly we feel sad…when we realize….suddenly….that we don’t have any control over our lives….something happens…& it hits us….”Man! what have I been thinking…I never had any control over this…” 
The helpless feeling…that feeling of complete helplessness…is what makes us feel hurt…

We feel we can trust this or that…or this person or that person…or this can’t happen…or this will never happen…not until I can prevent it….but when it does happen…that feeling of utter helplessness…
Is what is makes me feel sad…

Sometimes we don’t realize it but we do things that kill us…and when it does…we are hurt…

There is a lovely rhyme that says…

“Heavy the burden that bows the head
  When love is alive but hope, is dead”         

But Hopelessnes they say is death, so we never lose hope…
or do we…?

try to keep smiling
& hope…

-peace

fzuberi

GONE…

Gives me the shrieks

I say

You do me more than a world

Then undo me

But what is done is done

There’s nothing amiss

Why does man have to be;

Like this?

She came, she saw,  she conquered…

That is the way it is;

Holy God I say;

What is this?

Do things really have to be;

Of this – sort?

Vanity, sacrifice, misery, tenderness

That’s what it starts with

& ends

With this -

)ahad (uberi

WE RULE THE WORLD…AGAIN!

In 1992; my people, my fellow countrymen saw a change a change that made them proud, a change that made them feel on top of the world. Newspapers carried headlines declaring, “WE RULE THE WORLD”, and we did !

Today, the World saw this again…We saw that change again…in the hearts of every Pakistani every cricket lover that every Pakistani is…

We feel revived again…we feel as if we’ve been born again…

We feel Ecstatic & more…

The whole team and most of all Shahid Khan Afridi…reflecting the spirit that the nation of Pakistan is…unpredictability…

The nations that are joined as one nation…we keep fighting each other but every once now and then something happens…just changes the monotony of our lives…& something unpredictable happens…

To an outsider…to someone who does not know this peculiar country…it may be hard to fathom…things that I am expressing…but someone familiar to the dynamics of this nation of nations…would understand the feelings that are going through…any Pakistani’s heart…

The people who spell…despair…depression & hoplessness…should embrace this day…as a day to start spelling just the opposite…

As this Nation…is VERY definitely A NATION…this is what Our enemies are always afraid of…this tremendous potential…that is instilled in us … just naturally…

The emotions that run wild…in any Pakistani in general…is what makes us so potentially… dangerous…

So today I say it again ” WE RULE THE WORLD ”

the words that we were dying to read, hear & SAY… AGAIN!

And (INSHALLAH) We shall see that this turn of events turn our days for the better…

(And as my Beloved Principal Mrs. Deena Mistri used to say every Sunday morning in the School Assembly…)

May this come to be….as we pray…

-Amen

Pray for the Better days to come

-peace

fzuberi